Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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