Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
