worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just found puke in my bra..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
