i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
