she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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