..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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