I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
