Who did Billy Mays play for?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
