just come out here and I will go home with you...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
