How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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