At least make sure they are 18
Why
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
