He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
