Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
