so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
