Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
