At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
