I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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