So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
