I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
