There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
