Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
