If that was your dad, he is hot
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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