I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
