is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize