HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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