is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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