I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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