I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
