Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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