I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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