She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
