Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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