Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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