why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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