Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
