Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
