He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
