we have officially lost it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
did i just pee glitter
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