my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
