He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
