Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
