Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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