Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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