she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
