Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
