tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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