You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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