I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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