how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you would pick up someone in the library
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
