Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
