Your tits are I can't wait for
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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