I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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