worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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