TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
