I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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