You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I understand Curling. That high.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
