im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
