Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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